Lost IPod, missing deadlines and dead babies in my dreams
janeygodley | 27 October, 2006 16:17
Only I can get myself into a big state in two whole days. Here is the story, flew to
Monica my best mate called to take me out to dinner in of the fancy restaurants that she does PR for. So I did finally get up and drag my sorry ass to go eat the best food in the world and have the best ever company to eat it with.
Finally at midnight I staggered home, slightly tired and slightly tipsy (I had two glasses of wine which technically to me is a binge drink as I am a lightweight). “Hello I am off to bed” I told husband who had been sitting in the
Fell fast asleep (how sexy is that? Husband lay there in the dark wondering why his wife is 106 years old).
In the morning I was all dazed and confused as I had horrific nightmares again but I was aware the house phone had rung and could hear husband chatting.
Who knows this number? Who the fuck is he speaking to? I tried to get my foggy head to work.
“Janey we need to vacate this flat, Crown Lawn people called the owner of this flat is coming in today as there has been an accident in his family and he is flying back into UK today, we have to move flats as soon as possible” He said as he started shoving clothes into a suitcase.
We live in these serviced flats when I come to
The other flat was very local but I had never been there before, I was hauling a case up the stairs when my phone rang.
“Janey can you write a guest column for our newspaper this week?” a journalist spoke “The only problem is the deadline in Friday 5pm”
“Yes, no worries” I said as I took the details. It’s a wonderful broad sheet newspaper, but my brain was still full of half baked cookie dough and dead babies….trying to locate a flat, with keys that don’t fit any door, a pen that can’t write and trying to take the spec for a job that has a last minute deadline!
Husband managed to unpack the case and connect to the web (I do love that man, but apparently I was like a wolverine in that moment he told me later). I fell into another new bed in another new flat- I slept and slept, blood running down my legs, my eyes blind, my fingers sore with dragging them against a wooden door I didn’t recognise….dreams that kill your soul.
I awoke at 5pm as I had to rehearse a song I am singing on TV for BBC Children in Need show, trust me it’s a fucking nightmare I am not a great singer and need to get these words down into my head! Then I realised I had left my IPod in the other flat, I had to call Crown Lawn to locate it for me (which they did), I also left a tee shirt and possibly a pair of knickers …oh dear….
I was doing the presentation at the Emma Humphrey Awards at 7pm. It’s a wonderful event to celebrate the work done by women who fight against male violence and work in the health and voluntary sector. Loads of women who help protect prostitutes from Eastern Europe who are enslaved through crime lords, women who help stop female genital circumcision, women who work with the Muslim community who help ensure equality for the females …I mean the list goes on…so inspirational.
I was doing comedy there and was so worried that my outspoken politically incorrect attitude would offend some of them BUT they were an amazing bunch….even when I did mange to mention letting Victoria Beckham starve herself to death as she is a bad example to young women with her skeletal frame (the room went quiet, these people deal with anorexics and self harmers) they did LAUGH….and make me feel welcome. I was so touched by the sheer enthusiasm of the women in that room, it was inspiring to say the least.
When I got home I was too tired to write that article so I just wrote a quick outline of it and fell asleep, safe in the knowledge that as I flew home today I could finish it (today is Friday deadline day) my plane lands at 2pm and I will home at 2.30pm at the latest.
My flight was delayed, my laptop refused to connect to the web in the airport. I started to sweat….fuck I am going to miss the deadline…..the plane eventually took off….still delayed….we landed in Glasgow at 3.30pm…..shit my deadline is 5pm that is not giving me much time to get it done.
The motorway was blocked, I was still sitting in a taxi on the road at 4.20 pm….I called the journalist and she extended my deadline to 6pm!
So I got home wrote fast and emailed! Hurrah! The article is home and dry!
I am off to Brechin near Dundee tomorrow to do comedy then after that we drive to
I am a wee bit stressed. In my hall is three different cases, one for Dundee, one for
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