Janey Godley’s Blog

Award-winning Blog, running since 2004, which provides an astoundingly honest, candid and sometimes jaw-dropping insight into stand-up comic and best-selling author Janey Godley's extraordinary collection of domestic crises, marital tiffs, horrific nightmares, romantic interludes, oddball travels, meetings with ‘mad, bad and dangerous to know’ people with occasional hilarious incidents. ‘Not politically correct’ ‘Not normal’ ‘Sexually explicit’ ‘Verbally explicit’ ‘Highly addictive’.

Stop The War Gig…

Had good fun tonight doing the charity gig for the Stop the War gig. There was an amazing poet on called Tom Leonard; his poetry was so sharp and brilliant. I laughed my ass of at him. Nice people and it was a worthy cause as far as I am concerned. I am still negotiating...

The Policeman is an ASS!

I have a reason for that statement. Last week I played a gig at The Stand comedy Club Glasgow. Three things happened that were amazingly good and lead me onto this story. Firstly, after the gig a TV producer asked me to audition for a movie as they were looking a good mouthy Scottish...

Why am I awake at 4am?...

I have no idea what is going on with me…I mean travelling from Manchester will not give anyone fucking jetlag will it? Yet I cannot sleep, and really I should as I have an early meeting in the morning about the play going on tour. Yet here I sit and stare at the PC wondering...

Hitchcock’s Birds…

The journey home was fine, snow drifted into the windscreen as we drove out of Manchester , but the roads were not bad. I stuck in my IPOD and could hear husband in the far far distance of my peripheral hearing mutter on about something…it may have been important but fuck it…Herbie Hancock...

Slicing a Penis

Had the pleasure of headlining Billy Bonkers gig last night, I have to say his improv troupe is truly genius…Rock on State Bar! Billy is just the best; he has been running gigs in Glasgow for over ten years and was the guy who gave me my first ever gig! I love performing his wee gig. There...

I met George Best last Year…

It was a gig in Petersfield and the sun blistered the tarmac as the hot car drove through affluent English counties. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this gig at some anonymous country pub. I had suffered a terrible migraine the night before and was just recovering. The lovely wee bar...

The Three Hour Comedy GIG…

I was called by Alan Anderson to fill in a 20 minute slot in his Gong show night. So I slowly got ready, wrapped up and we drove down to the gig at Bar Bluu. The Gong show had to be cancelled as NO participants turned up to claim the £100 prize. I swiftly turned to husband and said “Do a...

Busy City Shoppers…

I am exhausted, all I did was go into town and get some thermal underwear and a wee bit of make up in Boots. By the way I have lost 14 pounds in weight! That’s a stone…don’t ask me how much that is in kilo’s as I don’t know. Drug dealers also have not converted to metric…I wonder if...

Funny Women at the Stand…

Great night and loved the gig. I have never played there before…except one afternoon as part of the warm up for BBC Live Floor show. So it was nice to be there. I had a strange day indeed, husband and I got up early and we drove Ashley to University through in Ayr , it’s a small...

Sleepy and on the Radio….

I was on late night BBC Radio 5 Live last night discussing ‘cussing’ and swearing on the television. It was 11pm at night and up to the old BBC studios off Great Western Rd …not far from my home. I was all wrapped up with a big scarf, woolly hat and my flask of hot tea waiting on the street...

Radio 4 book club

Hey there, I was sent this link to tell me to vote for myself for the ‘Best New Book’ this year on Radio 4 Open Book show. If you feel like voting for me and have read my book Handstands in the Dark then feel free to do so, I would be chuffed! PLEASE don’t write in as an obligation, just if...

A Donkey Made me Shoplift…

Yes I know that sounds a weird title, but I am afraid it’s true. I resorted to thieving to feed a big eyed donkey in a field. We stayed over in Stockton last night as I was performing there. It was a lovely theatre called the Arc. I was not the host and got to go on first, something I...

Life and Honesty…

I have been missing in action and feel shit for not being here when people look up the blog and see it’s not been updated. I am like this in life just now as well. Recently I have been feeling decidedly odd and out of sorts…maybe the menopause is about to kick in and I will have a fucking...

People I meet…

I love my job, being a comic does mean you get to meet really interesting people and I don’t always mean the folk who step onstage. Yes I know Jonny Vegas, Jerry Sadowitz and many more famous telly celebs…but I am talking about the people in the audience and ordinary humans we meet in life....

Newcastle and Fun…

I love this city, even though the weather nearly killed me. Fuck its cold brrrrr. The Funny Women on Tour was pretty quiet to be honest but the good news is my pal Ann who is on the cover of my book lives in Newcastle (there is a blurry black and white photo of her and I at 14 years old...

Fun at The BAFTA’s…

I am so glad I have lost some weight after my self imposed starvation regime, my old skirt fits loosely and that’s been years I can tell you. Ashley and I got dressed up and headed for the BAFTA after show party. The venue was Chinawhite…strange name for a nightclub as it means ‘heroin’, there...

Me and the Prague Police….

All I wanted to do was find my way to the Jewish Quarter. So in the main square was a police man sitting in his van with the sliding door half opened and he was clearly there waiting to be of assistance. “Excuse me, can you show me where the Jewish Quarter is?” The young police...

Prague in the Mist!...

We went the most amazing walk; firstly we traveled up a wee trolley cable car type bus thing, up into the hills. Then we slowly made our way down through the parkland and onto Prague castle, which looked less of a castle and more of a big Palace. The Church there was awesome and the stained...

Prague is Sexy!

Can you believe how beautiful this place is? I have never seen such amazing buildings and huge churches, mostly hidden behind buildings because communists liked them unseen. The hotel is just unbelievably perfect! We are staying at the Caesars Palace in the city. Honestly-we...

Fighting and Holidays…

Despite the meltdown we suffered in Birmingham, husband and I have just booked a last minute 3 day break to Prague…In the old days of our marriage I used to call a holiday ‘Another fight in another country’ maybe now it wont be. So tomorrow we leave for Prague , a nice four star...

Late Night Fights and Gropes

I spent six hours arguing with husband last night, we finally fell asleep at 5am ( I won the argument), with the knowledge that we had to get up at 9am to drive home to Glasgow…oh fucking JOY of marriage! Here’s what happened, last night after a good gig at Jongleurs, husband went to...

Fox Hunting and Police Raids…

Read on the BBC today that hordes of police are attending a fox hunt. In the new ‘fox hunt’ a quad bike races off smelling of fox, the hounds chase the bike, the hunt chase the hounds and the police today are chasing the hunt….meanwhile in Glasgow there is a man killing prostitutes...

Birmingham-Sex-DNA- and a VERY busy blog….

There can be nothing worse than getting to a city after five hours on the road, then not being able to actually find your way to a hotel when you get there! Fucking annoying. Multi Map deserves bird flu virus for the shit route it gave me. I am sorry this blog is late but as usual,...

Car Crash outside my house!

There is a busy main road outside my flat, it leads up to the M8 and the road outside has a NO RIGHT TURN sign that most drivers ignore and swing their cars around into the face of oncoming busy traffic…EVERYDAY! Tonight a car turned, missed and hit the actual NO RIGHT TURN sign,...

Things I fucking Hate…

Restaurants who serve pate but not enough bread to eat it with, you are left with a blob of meaty paste or you have to BUY a serving of bread! This happened to me tonight in Beanscene, that awful company that keeps banging on about their ‘morals and customers rights’ fucking 60 pence for two...




 
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