Janey Godley’s Blog

Award-winning Blog, running since 2004, which provides an astoundingly honest, candid and sometimes jaw-dropping insight into stand-up comic and best-selling author Janey Godley's extraordinary collection of domestic crises, marital tiffs, horrific nightmares, romantic interludes, oddball travels, meetings with ‘mad, bad and dangerous to know’ people with occasional hilarious incidents. ‘Not politically correct’ ‘Not normal’ ‘Sexually explicit’ ‘Verbally explicit’ ‘Highly addictive’.

Happy Halloween….

In that stunning apartment in Chelsea , I woke up at 4am this morning. I had no idea why or what got me awake, but it scared me and I was confused as to where I was. I fell back asleep after a while and woke up at 9am. I decided to get my ass outta bed and get packed, drink tea, check the...

London

I slept until 1pm today! Then found out it was actually 12 midday as the clocks went back an hour! That is just weird. London is still warm, which is strange, Monica and I walked for ages with our coats over our arms as the warm African breeze was as beautiful as the sun set tonight. Big...

Radio 4 is fun!!!

I was nervous this morning as I left the luxurious apartment here in Chelsea . I know the people at BBC were so supportive, but my nerves were gathering like angry wee bees in my tummy and by the time the big smooth BMW car purred into a stop at the BBC centre, I thought my head would...

Sunny October

Can you believe how sunny it is here in UK ? I think if the bird flu doesn’t get us the ozone leak will. I mean fucksake it was never this hot in the summer...what is going on...it rained for seven days in a row, now we have sunshine? We are all GONNA DIE! The apartment here in London is...

About Last night…

I had a ball last performing the play Smack- the Point of Yes at Yoker last night. It sold out and the people were awesome, there were loads of teenagers, and that’s really the first time loads of young people had come to see it. They laughed at the most inappropriate moments, and that’s why I...

Soho on TV Last Night…

There was a great programme on BBC 4 last night about the history of Soho in London . The show took us to all the old haunts and bars where the ‘Bohemians’ hung out. It was really awesome to watch some of the old famous artists/writers on old black and white movie reels. Francis bacon,...

Being an actor…

Well this week I perform my play Smack-The Point of Yes in Glasgow at Peterson Parkhall. I am currently rehearsing the whole thing again. It is about a woman who stays in a difficult marriage and never takes drugs and how her alter-self does take drugs and how both their lives pan out, I...

Who Knows Anything?

The Sunday papers are full of articles all about “Do we Brits Have No manners?’ or “Are We Misusing the English language?”. This argument about bad manners particularly makes me smile as I believe the middle classes adhered to ‘manners and rules’ as a way of making the under classes...

The Craig Hill Show on BBC…

Well I sat and watched it just then on the BBC Scotland and I was very pleased with it, I do have the fattest chin in the country…but the make up was not too visible and that’s what I was really worried about. I am not joking, it was filmed last night and especially for my big TV...

I Am Nasty…

There is nothing worse than having your own husband teach you how to cook 25 years after you get married to him…I mean, it’s a bit fucking late eh? He never gives up trying to show me stuff…. I remember in 1979 he tried to teach me how to use the brand new pressure cooker he bought...

What to Wear?

I cannot find my favourite skirt to wear on TV this weekend. It is my favourite black/chiffon short flirty skirt that I love. Ashley had it last and I know that I will never find it if she has thrown it into that quagmire of a room. Her room is like the Amityville House but without the nice...

Days of Darkness…

I had two whole days of feeling very bleak and down. I have no idea how it happened and I am not so sure it’s actually gone to be honest. I am into week one of my detox diet and have not smoked at all and am not doing nicotine therapy and am feeling slightly spaced out. I have never...

Travels to Sheffield and Near Electrocution…

We were in the car, all packed and listening to the radio. I was very bored and decided that each record that came on I would give my husband my original memory of how I recall hearing that song in the year it was a hit…like this. ‘Sister Sledge/ He’s the Greatest Dancer’…me in a brown...

Eating nothing but Inedible shit…

I got two emails today from my blogger pals asking me ‘How fat are you?’ Cheeky bastards! Fat enough to tell everyone I know I am on a diet- is how fucking fat I am! I know it is crunch time as all that fits me round the fat ass is the old purpley linen cropped trousers I bought last...

Burnt Haggis!

Am still on my diet, which means NO sweets or choccies whatsoever and it is killing me, don’t forget I stopped smoking again two days ago…I know-my life is fucking evil hell. I am not on any substitute nicotine or anything, I am simply gnawing the legs off my table and thinking of the various...

Still Raining….that’s five days in a row.

It’s making me blue, all this rain. I know that’s selfish in comparison to other natural weather disasters, but I feel sick with the rain…every day …every hour…rain and more rain. The streets look slick, the sky is constantly dark throughout the day and the incessant noisy ‘swish’ as car go...

Rain….

It has now rained for exactly 12 hours here in Glasgow . I am waiting on Ashley coming home from Uni and I know she will be soaked through and that drives me mad…like me, she never wears a heavy coat and NEVER carries a brolly. I went shopping today to buy something nice to appear on BBC...

Memories of my Mammy and Some stuff about Manchester…

Firstly, I got very bored and tried in rainy Manchester so I booked myself in for a beauty massage. I waited outside the salon and had a hot chocolate in a smart coffee bar. Beside me was this very old, yet extremely poised elegant lady. She was smoking those pastel coloured cigarettes...

Manchester

Manchester is heaving, the whole city is gearing up for the big England versus Austria football match tonight, and the city is being hammered by relentless rain. I am here to emcee Jongleurs and last night went as good as. I love the Manchester club, there is something about it...

Me being me again…

I have realised that over the past 25 years I have managed to manipulate or as it is called in upper class circles managed the art of ‘House Husbandry’. Below are some tips passed down to me by various women who used to drink in my bar years ago…they are fucking scary…   (More)

Life in day!

Went into the post office yesterday, I needed to post a DVD of my show to some TV dude, so I thought the big flagship Post Office was best in town. I walked around and around looking for those padded envelopes that the DVD can fit into perfectly. The place was so busy and I had to weave in and...

Strangest Nights sleep ever…

The woman with the long black shiny hair woke up on the satin bed; She felt the soft ripple of expensive silk between her scarred sore fingers. Her head became muddled with confusion, where was she?   (More)

Donny Osmond in Glasgow!

Yes he was and I missed him! Fucking hell -for the love of God what is wrong with me? How could I miss him? Well on Saturday I was in Liverpool working and last night I was at BBC Scotland helping out at a pilot show. Why couldn’t Donny come knocking at my door though? I mean Mormons...

Late Again!

Sorry about being late, I have been working away and had no PC to work on. Firstly I went to Galashields, it was a dark car journey (which I hate even though I don’t drive!), Alan Anderson drove me there and I was a nervous passenger, silly me as he is a good driver. Anyway, the gig was fun and...




 
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